What Is Emotional Intelligence - Emotional Intelligence or Emotional Quotient (EQ) is the ability to understand, manage, and use one's own emotions in positive ways so one can relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathise with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict. As you develop your emotional intelligence, you will become better at building relationships, succeeding at school and work, and achieving your career aspirations. In addition, it can encourage you to get in touch with your feelings, take actions to fulfil your intention and make informed decisions about what's most important to you. In this article, we go through the emotional intelligence meaning, its importance, a few emotional intelligence examples, and ways to go about improving it.
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Emotional intelligence is commonly defined by four attributes.
Knowing your own emotions (Self-management): You are capable of managing your emotions in healthy ways, controlling your impulsive feelings and behaviours, taking initiative and following through on commitments, and adapting to changing circumstances.
Managing your emotions (Self-awareness): You are aware of your own emotions and how they affect your behaviour and thoughts. You are aware of your strengths and weaknesses and are confident in your abilities.
Recognising the emotions of others (Social awareness): You have empathy for others. You can recognise the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, reply appropriately to emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognise the power dynamics within an organisation.
Relationship management (Handling relationships): It is easy for you to form and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, motivate and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflicts well.
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In life, the smartest and most successful people are not always the happiest. Several people you may know excel in academics but are socially awkward and have trouble with work or personal relationships. To be successful in life, you need more than just your intelligence quotient (IQ). So putting it simply, emotional intelligence is the ability to manage and understand your own and others' emotions.
IQ can help you gain admission into colleges, but it's your EQ that will prepare you for dealing with stressful situations, such as final exams.
Let’s consider a few examples, if you have a high EQ you can:
Overcome the exam stress quickly and can focus on answering questions.
Maintain your concentration during dull topics(say, trigonometry, etc.)
Focus on improving next time instead of obsessing over scoring low marks in a subject.
In the event of anxiety over an assignment, you can identify it and seek help (instead of falling into the dreaded procrastination/panic spiral).
Having high emotional intelligence is very helpful in subjects such as English, drama, history, and creative arts, which require understanding or manipulating emotions. Having a high EQ can also help you earn better grades in other ways as well. It helps you establish strong relationships with your teachers and classmates. You can use these connections to improve your academic performance by seeking extra assistance on a project or forming a study group.
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A person's emotional intelligence affects the following in different ways:
Your performance at school or work: You can navigate the social dynamics in the workplace with high emotional intelligence, motivate others, and excel in your career with high emotional intelligence. As a result, many companies now consider emotional intelligence just as important as technical skills when assessing job candidates, and use EQ tests before hiring.
Your physical health: When you have trouble managing your emotions, you probably have trouble managing your stress as well. This can have serious health consequences. The effects of uncontrolled stress can be seen in the rise in blood pressure, suppression of the immune system, increased risk of heart attacks and strokes, infertility, and ageing. To improve emotional intelligence, one must learn how to manage stress.
Your mental health: Uncontrolled emotions and stress can also negatively impact your mental health, leaving you vulnerable to anxiety and depression. When you can't manage your emotions, understand them, or get comfortable with them, you'll also struggle to form strong relationships. In turn, you may feel lonely and isolated, which can further exacerbate mental health issues.
Your relationships: You are better able to express how you feel and understand how others feel. This helps you develop stronger relationships at work and home, as well as communicate more effectively.
Your social intelligence: You can connect to others and the world around you by being in tune with your emotions. With social intelligence, you can distinguish between friends and foes, measure another person's interest in you, balance your nervous system, reduce stress and feel loved and happy.
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Here are a few scenarios that describe what is emotional intelligence, the characteristic behaviours that highlight high EQ, and behaviours that may indicate low EQ.
Motivation
Scenario: You posted on social media about passing an exam.
Higher EQ: The goal you achieved is something that you're proud of, and any support you receive is appreciated.
Lower EQ: You may doubt your value or success because not many people liked your post.
Social Skills
Scenario: You go to a social gathering with your parents.
Higher EQ: You meet other guests confidently, begin conversations with a few, and respond positively to people who approach you.
Lower EQ: You constantly feel conscious about how the other guests might be thinking about you, or judging you.
Social Awareness
Scenario: You and your best friend are both running to be class representatives, but your friend was chosen.
Higher EQ: As you reflect on your situation, you realise that you lack leadership skills, while your friend possesses strong management and organisational skills.
Lower EQ: You may get angry with your friend and stop talking to him.
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To become more socially and emotionally intelligent, what should you do? Here are a few tips.
Listen: You must first pay attention to other people if you wish to understand what they feel. Pay attention to the non-verbal and verbal communication of others. You can learn a lot from observing other people’s body language. Consider the various factors that might contribute to the emotion when you perceive someone feeling a certain way.
Empathise: Understanding someone's point of view requires more than picking up their emotions. You have to put yourself in their shoes so you truly appreciate what they're saying. Learn how to empathise. Imagine yourself in their shoes. Activities such as these can help you gain a deeper understanding of a particular situation and develop stronger emotional skills over time.
Reflect: Reasoning with emotions plays a crucial role in emotional intelligence. Think about how your own emotions influence your behaviour. Consider how emotions affect other people when thinking about how they respond. Why does this person feel this way? Does anything else contribute to their feelings? What is the difference between your emotions and theirs? The more you investigate these questions, the easier it may become to understand how emotions affect people's thinking and behaviour.
Learn from your mistakes: Whenever you find that you have misinterpreted an emotion or the way you handled someone's feelings didn't work, find a way to learn from your mistakes the next time.
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Many people possess emotional intelligence naturally, while others need to work at it. A person with strong emotional intelligence understands how other people feel and why they behave the way they do by understanding their perspectives, experiences, and emotions. Emotional intelligence can help you build better relationships, improve your well-being, and build better communication skills. We hope you now have a better understanding of emotional intelligence meaning and its importance in all areas of life.
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Author- This article has been authored by Yashodhra Arora, who is a Counselling Psychologist, with extensive experience in career counselling for high school students.
Being able to get along well with others depends on emotional intelligence. It provides you with an understanding of what other people are feeling and experiencing and permits you to respond appropriately to others’ needs.
The 5 characteristics of emotional intelligence are - Social regulation, Social awareness, motivation, empathy and social skills.
Accepting criticism and taking responsibility. Having the strength to move forward after making a mistake. Saying no when necessary. Sharing your feelings openly with others.
Emotional Intelligence can be used in many different ways in our daily lives like Being able to accept criticism and responsibility, Being able to share your feelings with others, Having great listening skills, Knowing why you do the things you do, etc.
Being aware of your emotions is the most basic of all the EQ skills to be able to identify and accurately label these everyday feelings. Being aware of your emotions - simply noticing them as they occur - helps you manage them. It is also helpful in understanding how people feel.
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