Self Confidence: Tips To Improve It

Ivan Joseph is frequently asked what qualities he looks for in potential candidates as a recruiter: Is it speed, strength, or agility? Joseph is the athletic director and head coach of the varsity soccer team at Ryerson University. In his TEDx Talk, Joseph discusses the importance of confidence not just in sports but in academics and everyday life as well.

In an interaction with parents Dr Joseph asked them what interests their children? Many parents praised their children with typical responses, such as, their child has great vision, is the fastest player no one can beat, and so forth, in an effort to persuade him. So that Joseph could take into account their kid as a team player at his university. But little did the parents know that those were the last things Joseph was looking for. What was missing from the list is self confidence.

Joseph’s Definition Of Self Confidence

He describes confidence as a skill without which all your talent is futile. Joseph asks, what happens when the player loses form? You can work on it with confidence. But what if you lose confidence?

Joseph defines self-confidence as the capacity to believe in oneself to complete any task despite obstacles, challenges, and adversity. It is self-confidence when you have the conviction that you can succeed.

Of course there are people who are not as confident as others. However, Joseph claims that since he referred to self confidence as a skill, it is a skill that can be learned. The question is, how can you boost your confidence?

How Can We Build Self Confidence?

There isn't a magic switch for building confidence, of course, but we can still improve self-confidence in a few different ways.

One Way To Build Self Confidence

You can always go back to Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hour rule on repetition. The easiest way to build self confidence is through repetition.

A goalie from Colombia in South America was once hired by Joseph. His hand was as hard as stone. He dropped the ball every time Joseph threw it to him.

Joseph offered him a straightforward solution: Run up to the wall, kick the ball against the wall, and grab it. Repeatedly! 350 times every day for eight months. His hands had lost all moisture and had become calloused after eight months. Today the player is performing in Europe, which is the most intriguing aspect.

Was it a magical occurrence? No! It was repetition!

The Problem

The issue is that, although we expect to be confident, we aren't capable of being so unless the skill or task at hand is not brand-new to us. Because pressure makes diamonds, we want to be in a situation where there is a lot of pressure. We desire to be in a position where we are confident that we have completed this task a thousand times.

Since Joseph practised in front of a mirror, his speech sounded good. He then went to his wife and their children and started to get a little anxious. He became a little more anxious when he was in front of Glenn Gould. He will be completely unnerved when he arrives at the ACG, where 2,500 people will be in attendance. With the ability to practice, that is now possible. Right? Over and over and over again.

The Problem With Repetition

How many of us give up after our first failure? How many of us give up at the first sign of difficulty?

Edison made an attempt to construct that light bulb anywhere between 1,000 and 10,000 times. Do you know how many publishers JK Rowling submitted her book, Harry Potter, to? Most likely, it was 12 or 13.

But I have a good feeling that after two or three refusals, we would say, "Damn it!" "Maybe not," if it's been six or seven. After nine or ten, we would undoubtedly be considering careers other than authoring, such as coaching soccer.

Right?

Know that JK Rowling received a rejection letter twelve times.

This tells us that we all repeat things, but very few of us truly persist. Perhaps the answer shouldn't be repetition, but persistence.

So that's one method to increase confidence. Do what you want to do and don't take no for an answer.

Self Talk

Another way of building self confidence is through self-talk. Each of us has a self-talk tape that we constantly listen to.

When you are not prepared for a surprise quiz don’t you silently pray, "Please Professor, don't pick me." Right?

Everybody engages in internal self-talk that is negative. Guess what? We're being told we can't do it by enough people and that we're not good enough. Why do we want to believe that about ourselves?

We can be certain that thoughts have an impact on behaviour. Why do we feel the need to speak negatively to ourselves?

We must find our own self-affirmations. No one else is going to inform you. Remember Muhammad Ali's self-affirmation – “I am the greatest!”

How Do You Build Self Confidence?

Stay away from those who will undermine you. That is sufficient. You just need to remember this when you have some quiet time. Make a list of all the characteristics that define you. Everyone makes mistakes eventually, and those around you will notice and criticise you. Eventually, you'll start to believe it yourself.

Write a letter to yourself about the times you felt good. No harm in cheering for yourself for all your accomplishments. Create your own brag sheet. We all experience times when we don't feel good about who we are, what we do, or where we are. We all encounter them throughout our lives. At such times, pull out your letter of confidence and read it, again and again, to help you get through the storm. Therefore, stop speaking negatively to yourself.

Confidence Boost

Confidence-building exercises or confidence-building activities may also help you boost your confidence.

Listen to the words in that video, "Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes."

Students, we're supposed to be unique. Have faith in yourself that you can crack your upcoming exam. Do believe in yourself when people look at you.