Negative Emotions: 4 Positive Takeaways From Difficult Experiences

Think back to a time when you faced a difficult situation and were able to overcome it. When you remember this moment, what are the thoughts and feelings that go through your mind? At first, you may recall the hardships you experienced during that time. However, if you continue to reflect on that experience, you may also realise how you were able to transform and develop yourself as a result of overcoming that challenge.

This article will focus on the impact of negative emotions. While, at that moment, negative emotions tend to have an unpleasant and uncomfortable effect on us, you may be surprised to know how much of a positive role they can play in our lives. Negative emotions could be any of those that make you feel uneasy and "not at ease". Some examples of negative emotions could be anger, frustration, envy, sadness, and the like.

Keep reading to dive deeper into another side of “negative” emotions.

Learning From Nature

Throughout life, there are multiple channels through which we can learn, it may be our experiences, what our parents teach us, what we learn from the company we keep, etc. What we may not realise is that nature is our teacher as well, we can learn a lot just by observing the way nature works if we are tuned to it. When you think of a butterfly, what comes to mind?

The transformation of a butterfly is a result of the discomfort and struggle it experiences during the process of metamorphosis. Initially, as a caterpillar, it prepares itself for being confined to its cocoon, in order to progress into its final form. The final stage involves the formation of wings and the emergence of the butterfly from the cocoon, but this process is not without difficulty.

The butterfly must exert all of its strength to break free from the cocoon and achieve its ultimate form. However, if the butterfly is assisted during this process, it can negatively impact the development of its limbs and wings, ultimately affecting its ability to fly.

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Are “Negative” Emotions "Bad"?

Just as a butterfly has to endure, experience discomfort and struggle, we as humans have to do the same. Unpleasant experiences put us through trials and tests, however, there is a lot of learning that comes out of it.

Appraisal Makes A Difference

Take for example the situation of students having to take exams. For some, this situation can produce a sense of unease, anxiety, and discomfort to the extent that these emotions affect their ability to take the exam; they may forget what they have studied and not be able to write the paper. However, some individuals may not find such situations to be as nerve-wracking. Although they may initially feel uneasy before an exam, when they encounter questions that they have studied, their confidence increases and they begin writing with ease.

While the situation is the same, the experience varies from person to person. What can we take away from this? The situation or emotion itself is neutral, it simply exists as it is. What can alter is our interpretation, perception, and comprehension of the situation or emotion. The meaning we attach to negative emotions, as well as our responses and interpretations of them, can influence whether we view them as positive or negative experiences.

Dealing With Negative Emotions

“Negative” emotions create a problem when they are not accepted and dealt with because the feelings associated with these emotions build up; think of it like a pressure cooker, all the ingredients are in there to make a perfect dish. The steam that builds up within needs to be released periodically for it to cook well. If it doesn't, it sits inside the cooker and with a single, feather-like touch, it can burst or burn the food.

In the same way, when we experience situations that evoke “negative” emotions, we have to find some way to release them every now and then. It could be by writing it down, talking to people, or dealing with the problem in whatever way is best. This, however, needs acceptance and courage.

When We Experience “Negative” Emotions, We Have To Find Some Way To Release Them

Why Are Negative Emotions Important?

Every emotion, positive or negative, serves a purpose. Positive emotions like joy, love, interest, etc., allow us to expand our thinking, recognise new possibilities, and build on the skills and resources we already have.

Negative emotions like anger, grief, guilt, helplessness, anxiety, fear, also serve a purpose. Experiencing these emotions can help us create new skills, understand new ways with which to respond, cultivate and reinforce acceptance, and help us see beauty in the positive experiences we have. As they say, there is no light without darkness. In order to recognise the good, we have to go through the bad.

What Do Negative Emotions Teach Us ?

Going through negative emotions can add substantial socio-emotional value to us. Here are a few things we can learn from the negative emotions we experience.

Empathy

When we go through difficult experiences, we also go through difficult emotions. The concept of “been there done that” is applicable here too. If we have experienced unpleasant emotions, using our own experience, we can help our closest friends who are going through their difficult times as well.

Experience Of Life

One would think a life without challenges and problems would be a good one, however, it could have the opposite effect — of being boring. Once we are able to navigate through difficulties, it builds our character. Difficult experiences and emotions have a way of teaching us things that positive experiences cannot. Once they are embraced, they can then be dealt with; we come out of those experiences as changed individuals.

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Resilience

We go through tough situations at every stage of our life. Take a moment to think about problems that may have come your way in primary school. The level of those problems was not as big as it may be now. However, dealing with smaller problems gives us the skills to navigate through the bigger ones as we grow.

Deeper Understanding Of Self

Through negative experiences and emotions, we start understanding ourselves at a much deeper level. Thoughts and responses that we didn't realise we had come to light, which also brings us closer to our authentic selves. This is if we deal with it, despite the fear of facing the issue.

Life cannot be linear, there will always be twists, turns, ups, and downs; human beings have immense potential to transform, purely because we have been given the gift of choice. There will be experiences that bring you nothing but joy and happiness, however, there will also be experiences that bring pain and sorrow. Maneuvering through these negative experiences and emotions can be terrifying, however, everything we have been through in life prepares us to go through the difficulties we do in the future.

What we need in the face of these challenges is the courage to face them, because no matter how painful the emotion or experience is, once we reach the end of the tunnel and look back, we will have realised how important it was to go through those feelings.

Ichha Bhan is a counselling psychologist, and personal growth coach. She holds 5+ years of hands-on experience in working with children and adolescents, helping them and their parents navigate shared emotions, and the challenges of growing up.