Is It Always Good To Be Positive?

As a student, it's common to feel overwhelmed, stressed, or anxious about academic and personal challenges. However, the pressure to maintain a positive attitude at all times can often create a toxic environment that dismisses genuine and valid emotions that students experience. This pressure can come from various sources, including peers, teachers, and even the institutions themselves.

The constant expectation of being optimistic and cheerful can make it difficult for students to express their negative emotions or seek help when they need it. In this article, we will explore the concept of toxic positivity in the context of students in school or college, its impact on their mental health and well-being, and how to navigate this toxic culture while prioritising emotional needs.

What Is Toxic Positivity?

Toxic positivity is a cultural phenomenon in which individuals are pressured to maintain a positive attitude at all times, even when experiencing negative emotions or facing challenging situations. The pressure to always present a happy and optimistic facade can make it difficult for individuals to express their true emotions and can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and isolation when negative emotions are present.

Why Is It Harmful?

Toxic positivity can be harmful because it invalidates and dismisses the genuine experiences and emotions of individuals. It creates an unrealistic expectation that individuals should always be happy and optimistic, regardless of the circumstances they are facing. This can make it difficult for individuals to seek support or help when they need it, as they may feel like their emotions are not valid or worthy of acknowledgment.

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While positivity can be a helpful coping mechanism, it is important to acknowledge that it is not always possible or realistic to be positive all the time. It is essential to allow ourselves to experience a full range of emotions, including negative emotions, in order to properly process and cope with life's challenges.

A Student’s Point Of View

Students receive an incessant stream of messages emphasising the importance of positivity and resilience in achieving success. These messages come in the form of motivational posters and inspirational speeches from professors, peers, social media, or themselves, all conveying the idea that a positive mindset is essential to overcoming challenges and achieving goals.

Toxic positivity requires individuals to maintain a happy and optimistic demeanor, even when they face difficult circumstances. This pressure to maintain a positive attitude can create a toxic environment that invalidates the genuine emotions that students experience. Whether it comes from peers, teachers, or institutions, the constant expectation of being optimistic and cheerful can make it challenging for students to express negative emotions and seek help when needed.

Signs of Toxic Positivity

While positivity can serve as a useful coping strategy, if it is imposed on individuals or oneself as an expectation, it can result in toxic positivity. Here are some signs that positivity has become toxic.

Dismissing Negative Emotions | When people are told to "just be positive" or "look on the bright side" instead of acknowledging and validating their negative emotions, it can create an environment where they feel guilty or ashamed for having negative feelings.

Ignoring Or Avoiding Real Issues | Focusing only on positive aspects while ignoring real issues can be harmful. It can prevent individuals from addressing problems and taking necessary actions to solve them.

Forcing Positivity Onto Others | When people are expected to project positivity all the time, they may try to force this expectation onto others, invalidating their negative emotions.

Minimising The Struggles Of Others | When individuals are going through a difficult time, telling them to be positive can feel dismissive and invalidating of their experience.

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Feeling Guilt For Experiencing Negative Emotions | When individuals are pressured to maintain a positive attitude, they may feel guilty or ashamed for experiencing negative emotions. This can make it difficult for them to express their true emotions and seek help when they need it.

It’s okay to experience both positive and negative emotions, but suppressing negative emotions can result in long-term problems. In order to improve our emotional well-being, we must acknowledge and validate our emotions, and we must address the root causes of negative emotions.

Dealing With Toxic Positivity

Although toxic positivity is prevalent, it's crucial to acknowledge that some of the behaviors mentioned earlier may have become habitual. Despite this, it's essential to recognise that breaking free from toxic positivity is a process. Remember, the journey towards overcoming toxic positivity is worth it, and every step forward counts. Here are some ways you can start dealing with toxic positivity.

Validate Your Own Emotions | It's important to acknowledge and validate your negative emotions instead of suppressing them, especially when dealing with academic and personal challenges. For example, if you're struggling with a difficult course, it's okay to acknowledge your frustration and seek help from a tutor or teacher.

It's important to acknowledge and validate your negative emotions instead of suppressing them.

Set Boundaries | You can set boundaries by telling others when their behavior invalidates your feelings. For example, if a peer constantly tells you to "just be positive" when you express stress or anxiety, you can explain that their comments make you feel dismissed and that you need support in processing your emotions.

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Practice Self-Care | Engage in activities that you enjoy, such as reading a book, taking a walk, or talking to a supportive friend. Self-care can help reduce stress and promote emotional well-being, which is crucial for academic success. For example, taking a break from studying to do a mindfulness exercise can help reduce stress and promote focus.

Seek Support | Talking to a therapist or counselor can be a helpful way to process your emotions and develop healthy coping strategies, especially when dealing with the pressures of academic life. Many schools offer counseling services to students, and it can be helpful to seek support from a professional who can provide guidance and support.

Encourage Open Communication | Start conversations about the impact of toxic positivity with classmates or professors. Encourage open communication and validate each other's emotions, as this can help create a more supportive environment for all students.

Embrace Authenticity | Allow yourself to be authentic and genuine in your emotions, even if they are not always positive. It's okay to experience a range of emotions, and authenticity can lead to more profound connections with others. For example, sharing your struggles with a close friend can help strengthen your bond and provide a supportive outlet for your emotions.

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When students take proactive steps to address toxic positivity, they can prioritise their emotional well-being and create a more supportive environment within their academic communities. This can lead to healthier coping mechanisms, improved communication, and a greater sense of belonging.

By embracing authenticity and acknowledging the full range of emotions, students can develop stronger relationships with themselves and others and create a more positive learning experience. In turn, this can lead to greater confidence, and personal growth resulting in academic success.

Ichha Bhan is a counselling psychologist, and personal growth coach. She hold more than 5 years of hands-on experience in working with children and adolescents, helping them and their parents navigate shared emotions, and the challenges of growing up.